One of my younger clients recently suffered the tragedy of losing her husband in an accident. I was asked by her children to step in and try to give some guidance to their mother moving forward.
I remember in our first conversation her saying, “I’ve lost my safe space” ….those words hit me, as I also thought back to a time in my life when I felt the same. Maybe the factual circumstances were different, but the thoughts were the same.
Her life, over these past several weeks has been chaotic, and as she related, she could not seem to move forward. I asked her where her safe space was before the accident and she said, her home, her study, and a big lounge chair she owned for years. The question became how to get her back to that place of comfort, from the world events, her children and her job.
All of us have a safe space, whether we realize or not. A place we can retreat to, go to, or just think about when things get rough. Growing up in a house where things sometimes felt off balance, my safe space was playing ball outside. Of course, those were the days when kids could go out and not be afraid of the “crazies” out there. Didn’t matter the weather, I was determined to get outside and play ball, any kind of ball, whether daylight or at night under the lights of my porch.
In my opinion, and it’s just that, my opinion, many of us need some sense of order first, before we are able to find our safe space. My new client needed some help and direction…..the basics of the new reality that she is now handling new tasks and chores that her husband previously handled. We spent the time going over what should be done, and what will be needed to be accomplished in the future. She now has the written protocol which she can refer to, as her checklist.
It’s been a few weeks since we last spoke, but a few days back, she sent me an e-mail with no words but just a picture….it was the lounge chair in her study……she found her safe space, again.
Take it for what it is…. It’s just how I see it.